* 2007
**DISCLAIMER:  This version was taken from THE PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION show as
sung by Michael Clooney.  It was transcribed by an ex-acquaintance of mine
who used to be an actor, and whom I last saw panhandling on the Venice
boardwalk (Jean - remember Marc Weishaus, the guy at Highland Grounds?).
 What I'm trying to say here is that I can't vouch for its accuracy!

HAMLET - The Song

There once was a King, nodding in his garden all alone,
When his brother in his ear poured a little bit of henbane,
Stole his brother's crown and his money and his widow,
But the dead King walked and got his son and said, "Now listen, kiddo:
I've been killed, and it's your duty to take revenge on Claudius;
Kill him quick and clean, and tell the nation what a fraud he is."
The kid says, "Right, I'll do it, but I'll have to play it crafty,
So that no one will suspect me, I'll let on that I'm a dafty."

So for all, except Horatio -- and he counts him as a friend--
Hamlet -- that's the kid -- he pretends he's 'round the bend;
And because he's not yet willing for obligatory killing,
He tries to make his uncle think he's tuppence off his shilling.
Takes a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile,
Tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that Denmark's bloody bile;
And a troup of traveling actors, on flight 784,
Arrived to do a special one-night gig in Elsinore.

Hamlet, Hamlet, acting balmy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitating;
He wonders if the ghost's a fake, and that is why he's waiting.

So Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact,
So Horatio and he could watch to see if Claudius cracked.
The play was called "The Mousetrap" -- not the one that's running now --
And sure enough the king walked out before the scene was through.
So now Hamlet's got the proof his uncle gave his Dad the dose --
The only trouble being now that Claudius knows he knows;
So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit man,
Uncle Claud takes out a contract, with the English king as hit man.

And when Hamlet killed Polonius and concealed the corpus delecti,
'Twas the King's excuse to send him for an English hempen necktie
With Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to make quite sure he got there,
But Hamlet jumped the boat and put the finger straight on that pair.
When Laertes heard his Dad's killed in the bedroom by the arras,
He came running back to Elsinore, toute de suite, hootfoot from Paris;
And Ophelia, with her Dad killed by the man she was to marry,
After saying it with flowers, she committed hari kari.

Hamlet, Hamlet, no messin',
Hamlet, Hamlet, learned his lesson,
Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
Convinced him all men, good or bad, at last must come to dust!

Then Laertes lost his cool, and was demanding retributions,
The King says, "Keep your head, and I'll supply you with solutions."
So he arranged a swordfight for the interested parties,
With a blunted sword for Hamlet and a sharp sword for La-ahrtes.
And to make double sure the old belt and brace was lined,
He fixed up a poison swordtip and a poison cup of wine.
The poison sword got Hamlet, but Laertes went and fluffed it,
'Cause he got stabbed himself, and he confessed before he snuffed it.

Then Hamlet's mummy drank the wine, and as her face turned blue,
Hamlet said, "I think this King's a baddie through and through!
Well, incestuous, murderous, damned Dane!" he said, to be precise;
Then made up for hesitating once by killing Claudius twice.
'Cause he stabbed him with his knife and forced the wine between his lips,
And then he said, "The rest is silence," and he cashed in all his chips.
They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafter,
And then Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after.

Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story,
Hamlet, Hamlet, very gory,
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm on my way,
And if you think that was confusing, you should read the bloody play!


Artist: BRITNEY SPEARS Album: Unknown Title: I'm a Slave 4 U (Spoken:) I know I may be young But, I've got feelings too And I need to do What I feel like doin' So let me go And just listen All you people Look at me like I'm a little girl Well did you ever think It be OK for me to Step into this world? Always saying "Little girl don't step Into the glow Well I'm just trying To find out why 'Cause dancing's What I love (Yeah) Get it, get it (x6) (Do you like it?) (This feels good) (Panting) I know I may come off May come off shy But I feel like talking Feel like dancing When I see this guy What's practical What's logical What the hell Who cares All I know is that I'm so happy when You're dancing there CHORUS: I'm a slave for you I cannot hold it I cannot control it I'm a slave for you I won't deny it I'm not trying to hide it BRIDGE: Baby (I just want to Dance next to you) Don't you wanna Dance up on me To another Time and place Baby (Are you ready?) Don't you wanna Dance up on me From behind? (Like that) (You like it) (Now watch me) Get it, get it (x6) (Do you like it?) (This feels good) (Panting) I really wanna dance Tonight with you (I just can't help myself) I really wanna do What you wanna do (I just feel I let myself go) I really wanna dance Tonight with you (Wanna see you) I really wanna do What you wanna do (Uh, uh, uh) Repeat bridge Repeat chorus (Take that) It just feels right It's just feels good) Get it, get it (x6) Repeat chorus (He we go again) (Laughs) (He go now) (Here we go) (Like that)


Artist: Shaggy Album: Hotshot Title: Hot Shot They call me Mr. Hot Shot, baby can I do my thing Don't stop, girl I like the vibe you bring Knock knock, open up and let me in We can do most anything, tell me do you like my swing They call me Mr. Hot Shot, baby can I do my thing Don't stop, girl I like the vibe you bring Knock knock, open up and let me in We can do most anything, tell me do you like my swing Well tell me if you no hear How the reggae lover him a run things this year New tune fi buss and me have lyrics fi spare No need to fear Girl if you down with Mr. Lover put you finger inna the air I love you walk And I even like the raunchy way that you talk You're the kinda girl that all the fellas all a stalk Hound dogs a bark girl Come let me discombobulate your parts They call me Mr. Hot Shot, baby can I do my thing Don't stop, girl I like the vibe you bring Knock knock, open up and let me in We can do most anything, tell me do you like my swing Well girl you better know she right ya now you is a part of the plan I notice pon you finger she you wear a wedding band No bother think say this is just a one night stand No think I man a look you fi a slam I tell you gal on top of how you look you know you have sex appeal You're like a priceless gem whe every man waan fi steal Expressing my emotions got to tell you how I feel So baby come and let me know the deal They call me Mr. Hot Shot, baby can I do my thing Don't stop, girl I like the vibe you bring Knock knock, open up and let me in We can do most anything, tell me do you like my swing Well tell me if you no hear How the reggae lover him a run things this year New tune fi buss and me have lyrics fi spare No need to fear Girl if you down with Mr. Lover put you finger inna the air I love you walk And I even like the raunchy way that you talk You're the kinda girl that all the fellas all a stalk Hound dogs a bark girl Come let me discombobulate your parts

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2008 : 2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
Film-North * Anatoly Antohin *
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