* 2007 - 2009
LUL 2009 SHREW-3

TOPICS: drama + comedy + postmodern + self + commedia + biomechanics + shakespeare + comical + sex + shake-comedy + 12th night +

Grumio, Joker



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{ jokes }

Interaction with Public
Jokes (Jester, Street Musician, Pedant)

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get MARRIED!

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

This couple were married for 67 years.
The husband was asked ; if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce.
"Heavens no" he replied. Murder yes, but never divorce.

A man was speaking to God.
"God, why did you make women so beautiful?" he asked.
God said: "I did that to make you love them".
Then the man asked: "Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?"
God said: "I did that to make you love them".
The man then asked: "But God, why did you make women so stupid?".
God said: "I did that to make them love you ! "

Marriage Postulates

* To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. - To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

* Married men live longer than single men, - but married men are a lot more willing to go.

* Any married man should forget his mistakes, - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. - A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

* A woman has the last word in any argument. - Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SHREW-3 [script] Up-level

2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
Film-North * Anatoly Antohin
View My Stats * cite: anatoly antohin. URL + date [ my shows : 1. writer * 2. director * 3. dramaturg * 4. actor ]

shrew questia.com

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