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SCENES

scenes: Theatre UAF :

Act 1, Scene 1: Padua. A public place.
Act 1, Scene 2: Padua. Before HORTENSIO'S house.

* Act 2, Scene 1: Padua. A room in BAPTISTA'S house.

Act 3, Scene 1: Padua. BAPTISTA'S house.
Act 3, Scene 2: Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.

* Act 4, Scene 1: PETRUCHIO'S country house.
Act 4, Scene 2: Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.
Act 4, Scene 3: A room in PETRUCHIO'S house.
Act 4, Scene 4: Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.
* Act 4, Scene 5: A public road.

Act 5, Scene 1: Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house.
Act 5, Scene 2: Padua. LUCENTIO'S house.

...

Grumio as Narrator! [*] NEW SHREW, ET [print]

filmplus.org/thr/scomedy.html

vtheatre.net/script/shake.html

PETE [PETRUCHIO]

I will attend her here,
And woo her with some spirit when she comes.
Say that she rail; why then I'll tell her plain
She sings as sweetly as a nightingale:
Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear
As morning roses newly wash'd with dew:
Say she be mute and will not speak a word;
Then I'll commend her volubility,
And say she uttereth piercing eloquence:
If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks,
As though she bid me stay by her a week:
If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day
When I shall ask the banns and when be married.
But here she comes; and now, Petruchio, speak.

[Enter KATHARINA]

Good morrow, Kate; for that's your name, I hear.

KATHARINA	Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing:
	They call me Katharina that do talk of me.

PETRUCHIO	You lie, in faith; for you are call'd plain Kate,
	And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst;
	But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom
	Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate,
	For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate,
	Take this of me, Kate of my consolation;
	Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,
	Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,
	Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs,
	Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.

KATHARINA	Moved! in good time: let him that moved you hither
	Remove you hence: I knew you at the first
	You were a moveable.

PETRUCHIO	Why, what's a moveable?

KATHARINA	A join'd-stool.

PETRUCHIO	Thou hast hit it: come, sit on me.

KATHARINA	Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

PETRUCHIO	Women are made to bear, and so are you.

KATHARINA	No such jade as you, if me you mean.

PETRUCHIO	Alas! good Kate, I will not burden thee;
	For, knowing thee to be but young and light--

KATHARINA	Too light for such a swain as you to catch;
	And yet as heavy as my weight should be.

PETRUCHIO	Should be! should--buzz!

KATHARINA	Well ta'en, and like a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO	O slow-wing'd turtle! shall a buzzard take thee?

KATHARINA	Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO	Come, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry.

KATHARINA	If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

PETRUCHIO	My remedy is then, to pluck it out.

KATHARINA	Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies,

PETRUCHIO	Who knows not where a wasp does
	wear his sting? In his tail.

KATHARINA	In his tongue.

PETRUCHIO	Whose tongue?

KATHARINA	Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.

PETRUCHIO	What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again,
	Good Kate; I am a gentleman.

KATHARINA	That I'll try.

	[She strikes him]

PETRUCHIO	I swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again.

KATHARINA	So may you lose your arms:
	If you strike me, you are no gentleman;
	And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

PETRUCHIO	A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!

KATHARINA	What is your crest? a coxcomb?

PETRUCHIO	A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.

KATHARINA	No cock of mine; you crow too like a craven.

PETRUCHIO	Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.

KATHARINA	It is my fashion, when I see a crab.

PETRUCHIO	Why, here's no crab; and therefore look not sour.

KATHARINA	There is, there is.

PETRUCHIO	Then show it me.

KATHARINA	Had I a glass, I would.

PETRUCHIO	What, you mean my face?

KATHARINA	Well aim'd of such a young one.

PETRUCHIO	Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you.

KATHARINA	Yet you are wither'd.

PETRUCHIO	'Tis with cares.

KATHARINA	I care not.

PETRUCHIO	Nay, hear you, Kate: in sooth you scape not so.

KATHARINA	I chafe you, if I tarry: let me go.

PETRUCHIO	No, not a whit: I find you passing gentle.
	'Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen,
	And now I find report a very liar;
	For thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,
	But slow in speech, yet sweet as spring-time flowers:
	Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance,
	Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will,
	Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk,
	But thou with mildness entertain'st thy wooers,
	With gentle conference, soft and affable.
	Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?
	O slanderous world! Kate like the hazel-twig
	Is straight and slender and as brown in hue
	As hazel nuts and sweeter than the kernels.
	O, let me see thee walk: thou dost not halt.

KATHARINA	Go, fool, and whom thou keep'st command.

PETRUCHIO	Did ever Dian so become a grove
	As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?
	O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;
	And then let Kate be chaste and Dian sportful!

KATHARINA	Where did you study all this goodly speech?

PETRUCHIO	It is extempore, from my mother-wit.

KATHARINA	A witty mother! witless else her son.

PETRUCHIO	Am I not wise?

KATHARINA	Yes; keep you warm.

PETRUCHIO	Marry, so I mean, sweet Katharina, in thy bed:
	And therefore, setting all this chat aside,
	Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented
	That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;
	And, Will you, nill you, I will marry you.
	Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn;
	For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,
	Thy beauty, that doth make me like thee well,
	Thou must be married to no man but me;
	For I am he am born to tame you Kate,
	And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate
	Conformable as other household Kates.
	Here comes your father: never make denial;
	I must and will have Katharina to my wife.

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2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
Film-North * Anatoly Antohin
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